


Congealed With Love And Devotion

by loquaciousEscapist



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Cock Rings, Light Bondage, M/M, Oral Sex, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Sex Toys, Tentabulges
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-23
Updated: 2012-09-23
Packaged: 2017-11-14 20:35:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/519264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loquaciousEscapist/pseuds/loquaciousEscapist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“We need to have words,” John says sternly over a spoonful of Cheerios. “About the distracting nature of your butt.”</p>
<p>“Well, my fucking apologies if I need to bend over to reach the milk that you, might I add, put back on the wrong shelf. Besides, if you hadn’t left your reading until the last minute yet again you could actually be doing something with this butt,” Karkat replies. “Like touching it.” </p>
<p>(A vague AU where trolls and humans go to college together and also have sex. Also known as 'Everything I Write Ever')</p>
            </blockquote>





	Congealed With Love And Devotion

“We need to have words,” John says sternly over a spoonful of Cheerios. “About the distracting nature of your butt.”

“Well, my fucking apologies if I need to bend over to reach the milk that you, might I add, put back on the wrong shelf. Besides, if you hadn’t left your reading until the last minute yet again you could actually be doing something with this butt,” Karkat replies. “Like touching it.” John flips him off good-naturedly and turns back to his book.

“I do actually need to talk to you later,” he says nonchalantly, turning a page. “What time do you finish today?”

“Free day. My only instructor for the day emailed in sick, but rather than having the common fucking decency to email the night before so I didn’t have to wake up at this ungodly hour, he emailed half an hour ago.”

“What a fucker,” John says cheerfully. “But you can use the free time to put on that apron Rose knitted for you and make me food.” Karkat throws a Weetabix at John’s head, and it hits him on the nose.

**

“Oh, you did make me dinner!” John says happily, taking a deep sniff as he drops his bag at the foot of the stairs.

“What can I say, I’m just a highly talented microwaver,” Karkat deadpans, already halfway through his macaroni cheese, which he’d doused in grub sauce before even attempting to put it in his mouth. “Yours is probably congealed.”

“Congealed with the love and devotion you put into preparing my meal?”

“If that helps you sleep at night, Egbert.”

They eat in silence for a few moments – it’s not an uncommon thing, usually the two were engrossed in compiling their own thoughts before launching into dinner table conversation (their dinner table was actually an end table, scuffed around the edges and with mismatching chairs). It takes Karkat a while to realise the silence isn’t companionable; it is awkward, tense, and he has no idea why. When he looks up at John to ask him what the matter is, it is to see John’s face turning steadily redder. 

“Whoa, shit John, are you having a reaction to my cooking or something?” Karkat stands up suddenly, his chair scraping across the floor before toppling over with a crash. John flushes even darker.

“No, Karkat! Your cooking’s great! The best cooking! You are the greatest cook, it is-”

“Shut the fuck up and explain why you are channelling the coloring of lobster,” Karkat says blandly, going to sit back down and ending up on the floor when his chair wasn’t in the expected place; John has the decency not to laugh.

“I’ve been thinking.”

“Good.”

“About us.”

“I suddenly don’t like where this is going.”

“No, dude, not that!” John laughs, and the blush on his cheeks recedes slightly. “Sorry, shitty word choice on my part, I meant that I want to talk about...” He whispers the last word so quietly that even Karkat’s hearing fails to pick it up.

“What the fuck are you muttering to yourself?”

“I want to talk about-” he whispers again.

“Egbert, seriously, this is getting-”

“I WANT TO PUT MY WIENER IN YOU!” He shouts loudly with his eyes scrunched up behind his glasses; Karkat falls off the chair again.

“I... John, you’ve put your bulge in me. Multiple times. It is safe to say that I am not opposed to you putting your ‘wiener’ in me, whatever the fuck synonym that’s supposed to be.”

“Yeah, but...” he trails off, before making an extremely vague gesture with his hands; Karkat blinks.

“My Alternian sign language is rusty, but I’m pretty sure you just said ‘rust colored citrus fruit’.” John sighs exasperatedly, as though he is convinced that he could not make this any clearer, and that Karkat is obviously deliberately being a tool. Karkat returns the sigh to emphasise that John’s hand gestures are about as clear as the plotlines of his shitty human movies, and it would literally take one of the Seers to determine his meaning.

“Just... Stay there. I’ll show you what I mean.” He walks briskly out of the room, leaving Karkat practically twiddling his thumbs at the table. When John walks back in a few moments later, he is holding something small in a tightly clenched fist; he gestures for Karkat to hold out his hand, and he drops the thing.

“John, I realise I haven’t cut my hair in a while, but it isn’t long enough for a hair tie yet,” Karkat says confusedly, staring at the thing in his hand. “And this is the shittiest hair tie I’ve ever seen, why is it made of leather?”

“It’s not for hair. Or for you, actually.” Karkat looks at John’s face worriedly – his knowledge of human bodily processes is still not fantastic, and his skin could be turning translucent with all of the blood behind it, for all he knew. “It’s for me, and it’s a... Toy.”

“Spit it out already, I’m not getting any younger.”

“I want you” John says slowly, practically forcing the words out, “to put this on my cock, and then I want you to ride said cock until you cum. Do you call it cum? What is that even called, anyway, I’ve forgotten-”

“Releasing genetic fluid,” Karkat says absentmindedly – and then what John had actually said hits him like a ton of stone building cuboids. “What the ever loving shitfuck?!”

“I was doing some... Stuff. On the internet. And I was trying to find a way to get you to ‘release’” he actually does the airquotes with his fingers “quicker, and then I thought ‘huh, there’s got to be a way to make me go for longer!’ so I did some research and found that.” He points to the cock ring that rests innocently in Karkat’s palm.

One of the very few problems with their sex life – the other being that Karkat had once accidentally nicked John’s jaw with his teeth and now point blank refused to kiss him there, despite John’s insistences that he’d found the whole thing _really hot, damn it_ – was that troll physiology meant that Karkat took a long time to get anywhere close to releasing, by which time John would not only have long since orgasmed, but was also no longer in the mood at all. He didn’t want to feel like it was a chore to pleasure Karkat, but the whole thing just took so long in comparison to his. 

But now that he’d found out about cock rings, he’d be able to last much longer than usual. And, best of all, watching Karkat ride him was one of his favourite things to do.

“So, let me get this straight,” Karkat says, staring at the ring. “You put this on your bulge and it, what, blocks your release until you take it off?”

“Well, I looked it up, and I can’t keep it on for hours and hours because then my cock might fall off! But yeah, that’s the general gist.” Karkat looks quiet, thoughtful, while John has an expression that is a nausea inducing mix of apprehension and optimism. 

“You promise your cock won’t fall off,” he says eventually, looking at John very seriously.

“Dude, I’m not going to let my cock fall off, jeez.” John rolls his eyes to emphasise his point.

“All right then, John, make love to me while wearing your weird human cock tie,” Karkat says, handing John the ring.

**

They do not, however, stumble immediately into the bedroom and make hot, heady love against John’s mattress. Instead, John insists on a ten minute lecture about cock safety he himself had only learned very recently, safe words (John had suggested ‘Liv Tyler’ and Karkat had refused to speak for several minutes), and proper after care. Once Karkat had had his crash course in human sexual safety, John had earnestly asked if there was anything he would need to be made aware of about Karkat’s own safety.

“John,” Karkat had said. “We have had sex multiple fucking times, literally nothing has changed on my end except for the fact that I’ll be riding your cock for longer as opposed to your fingers. Now stop talking and, as you put it, put your wiener in me.” Karkat hadn’t actually given John time to respond, instead reaching over and securing the ring around John’s cock. His sudden determination to begin stops as suddenly as it starts. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” John replies, wiggling his hips thoughtfully. “Feels weird though. Not a bad weird, just... Weird.” They both stare at John’s cock. “Huh.”

“What?”

“We’re both fully naked, and yet neither of us seem to be making our way to the bed,” John replies. Karkat gets the idea and pushes John over to the bed, draping him over it and then bringing his head close to John’s cock.

When they had first started having sex, Karkat had been appalled when John had nonchalantly mentioned blow jobs;

“What do you mean you want to put your mouth on my fucking bulge, are you out of your thinkpan?”

It had taken careful explanations and several films to convince him that oral sex was not the heavily kinky blackrom situation it was on Alternia, but a common enough occurrence in human sex. And, when John had first taken Karkat into his mouth, he had quickly understood why. In order to return the favour, Karkat had practiced not using his teeth on cucumbers, and had proudly displayed his new found knowledge on a zucchini John had been planning to use for cooking - he’d never seen John get so horny so quickly.

First, Karkat licks gently at the head, lapping at the bead of precum on the tip, before licking a long stripe down the vein along the underneath. John moans and weaves his hands in Karkat’s hair, before removing them and gasping.

“Wait, Karkat, dude, you should totally tie my hands to the bed posts!” Karkat shoots upright, cricking his neck with the speed of the movement.

“What the fuck happened to ‘we should always discuss our sexual endeavours’?” John waves a hand.

“That’s for when I’m not horny. All right, look, are you okay with tying my hands up?” Karkat shrugs. “And I’m definitely okay with it! Imagine, I’m literally going to be totally under your control, I won’t be able to dictate anything, you’ll be able to go as fast or as slow as you like.” Karkat lets out a whimper that he would firmly deny ever left his mouth. “Use some of my work ties.” Karkat leans over to the bedside table, rummages in the middle drawer and pulls out two plain black ties, before securing John’s wrists to the bed posts.

“Ready?” He asks – John wriggles his wrists experimentally, then nods. “Can I go back to sucking your bulge now?” John nods eagerly, and Karkat lowers his head.

This time, he takes the whole cock into his mouth, gently bobbing his head back and forth. It’s not often they do this, because this combined with Karkat riding him would have made John finish much too early in comparison to Karkat’s prolonged wait, but it’s nice to have a reasonable amount of time to play stretching out in front of him.

“Have I ever told you how pretty you look when you’re sucking my cock?” John blurts out – Karkat raises his eyebrows. “You totally do, your lips get all wet and shiny, and you look so-” What Karkat looks like is lost to a low, deep moan, one that usually characterised the second before John orgasmed. The orgasm, however, never came, leaving John whimpering.

“You okay?” Karkat asks worriedly, pulling his head off John’s dick with an obscene pop.

“Perfect, never better!” John gasps. “Just feels – oh, fuck! – feels really great! Hey, you know, you should totally ride my dick now.”

“Bossy fucker, considering you’re tied up,” Karkat smirks, nevertheless adjusting himself so that he is hovering just above John’s erect dick. “Ready?”

“I was born ready, so ready, I – _ah_!” Karkat sinks down, his nook stretching to accommodate John’s dick. It had taken a lot of practice – which, granted, Karkat hadn’t been opposed to – but eventually his nook had grown used to John’s size and girth, and where it had once been uncomfortable the sensation was now one of pleasure.

He slides down slowly, so slowly, until their hips are touching – and then, just as slowly, he rises back up again. John, the impatient twat, actually sighs.

“Not that I don’t love what you’re doing here, but do you think you could go a little quicker?” Karkat growls and slams his hips down forcefully, causing John to moan in gratitude.

“Better, you fucker?” Karkat pants, going back to his original slow pace. John nods once, his breathing sharp and laboured. Karkat leans down to kiss him, his hips continuing to move back and forth. He feels his tentabulge unsheathe and twist around, looking for its counterpart, and Karkat whines at the feeling of cool air on the sensitive skin.

“Karkat, I want to touch you so bad,” John whimpers, shaking his hands to emphasise the point. Karkat goes to untie him, but he shakes his head adamantly. “No dude, not yet! Wait till I say the safe word!”

“John Egbert if you cry out ‘Liv Tyler’ during sex with me I will bite off your bulge.” Karkat brings his hand down to his tentabulge, which immediately wraps itself around it – he moans appreciatively, and begins thrusting his hips faster, which is all it takes for John to cry out the safe word,

“Amber, amber, fuck, I need to get my hands on you, fuck!” Karkat moves like lightning, untying both of John’s wrists – John moves just as fast, using one hand to pull Karkat’s head down to kiss, and the other to pull his hips closer. Karkat whines into his mouth, and John pulls away. “You close?” Karkat goes through about three different expressions before settling on indecisive, accompanied by a little shrug. John removes the hand currently on Karkat’s butt.

“Maybe? I – oh my liquid shitting fuck don’t stop!” John snickers as he loops his hand around Karkat’s tentabulge, and then begins pumping slowly.

“Wow, Karkat, talk dirty to me some more, I really love hearing about diarrhoea while I’m trying to have sex,” John says, waggling his eyebrows rapidly – Karkat just huffs.

“It might please you to know, you fucker, that I am close to releasing, so if you don’t get the bucket soon I’m going to make a mess of your sheets.”

“ _Good_.” John groans. “I want you to ‘release’” how does he even manage to do audible air quotes “all over me.”

“You’re a kinky fuck today, aren’t you?”

“If you want to go one step kinkier, reach over to my top chest of drawers and pull out the lube, I want to try something.” It wasn’t often that they used lube during sex, so Karkat raised his eyebrows curiously. “Trust me.”

When Karkat passes John the lube, he wastes no time in squeezing some onto his right hand, taking care to coat his fingers liberally.

“Ready?” Karkat nods, and John pushes one of his fingers slowly into Karkat’s ass. It’s all it takes for Karkat to go over the edge, howling as he spills his release over John, who moans in kind.

“Okay, red, red, I need this cock ring off now –” As soon as Karkat can move he slides off John, still shaking from the aftermath of his orgasm, and he takes off the cock ring. Just from the release of pressure alone John cums, quick and short compared to Karkat’s drawn out affair.

**

“Dude. This is gross. Our sheets are gross. We’re gross.”

“I have just released what feels like several filial pails worth of genetic material, and you’re expecting me to get up and change the sheets?”

“No, I just thought I’d state the obvious. It’s like lying on a damp towel. A damp towel that’s been soaked in cum.” Karkat headbutts John on the shoulder, and then lies back down again.

“Congratulations, you’ve officially created the universe’s worst metaphor.”

**Author's Note:**

> Bluh bluh bluh huge plot block. Have some shitty porn that's been harassing me for the past few days - now that I've written it, maybe I can continue writing _actual things_.


End file.
